February 17, 2011

Creative Rebirth

I’ve basically thrust myself into this attempt at a creative business due to my boredom at work. I have a job that pays enough for me to live a relatively comfortable lifestyle, and for that I am extremely grateful. For the past eight or so years I’ve been content with performing my job as well as I can, but not really being that challenged by the nature of my work. I had a rough time after I graduated from university with a Bachelor’s in Business-Marketing, battling a recession after a national disaster, depression, and lots of confusion about what path I would end up taking. It didn’t really feel like a choice when I finally got my first real job. It was definitely more about feeling lucky to even have a job. It was something I knew I could do well without too much stress, so I didn’t really think about how my creativity would be affected.

Over the course of the next eight years, my creativity waned and eroded. I would still have spurts here and there, but inspiration would usually just sit idle in my brain. I quit writing the blog I had started, stopped taking photographs, and basically quit making things for myself.

People always say that you have to hit bottom before you can crawl out of a hole. I think that happened for me sometime last year. I was planning my wedding with my husband, and even though I didn’t think I really even wanted to have a “wedding”, I started becoming absorbed in the creative process of the planning. It happened a little too late in the planning process to be able to go into the painful detail that I normally obsess over, but it happened with just enough time to actually teach me that painful detail is not always necessary, nor is it always appreciated by those you are doing it for to begin with.

So I’m starting to crawl out of my creativity vacuum. And I am all in. It’s almost as if ideas have just been stockpiling in some forgotten closet in my head, and now that I’ve opened the door, everything’s falling out. It’s quite difficult to focus on work, because what I really want to be devoting my time and brain cells toward is working on my ideas. I can’t wait to start creating things!

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